Breaking the Silence: Male Survivors of Rape and Sexual Assault

When conversations about rape and sexual assault emerge, men are often absent from the narrative. The dominant perception has long been that rape is something that happens to women, not to men. Yet research and survivor testimony prove otherwise: men and boys, too, experience sexual violence. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly 1 in 38 men in the U.S. report having been raped during their lifetime, while almost 1 in 17 have experienced some form of sexual violence (Smith et al., 2018).

Still, unlike their female counterparts, male survivors are often silenced not just by trauma, but by society’s refusal to acknowledge their reality. In South Africa, this is significantly worse and we urge our communities that it can and does happen. Let us see posters as the one for Survivors UK around our nation and support male victims in the same manner as we do our women.

The Weight of Silence

For male survivors, shame and stigma build a cage around their experiences. The myth that “real men” are always strong, invulnerable, and eager for sex perpetuates the belief that men cannot be victims. Survivors are haunted by questions like: Will people believe me? Will they think I’m weak? Will they laugh?

These fears are not imagined. Research by Javaid (2015) highlights how male victims of sexual assault face unique cultural pressures: they fear ridicule, disbelief, and emasculation. Many report being dismissed or even blamed for their own victimization. Silence, then, becomes a means of survival.

The Myth of Masculinity

Central to the stigma is the perception that masculinity equates to invulnerability. If a man is assaulted, some assume he must have wanted it, failed to fight back, or worse—deserved it. Others deny male victimization altogether, claiming men are “too strong” to be raped.

As noted by Mezey and King (2000), stereotypes about male invulnerability make recognition of male victims difficult both legally and socially. This harmful narrative not only invalidates survivors but reinforces the idea that masculinity must be proven through toughness and silence.

But rape is not about strength or weakness. It is about power, control, and violation. Men are no more immune to such violence than women. Recognizing this truth is essential to dismantling the myths that prevent healing.

The Cost of Stigma

The consequences of stigma are profound. Male survivors may turn to isolation, substance abuse, or self-destructive behavior rather than seek help. Research has shown that men often delay disclosure for years, if not decades, compared to female survivors (Easton, Saltzman, & Willis, 2014). Mental health struggles such as depression, PTSD, and anxiety often go untreated because the fear of being seen as “less of a man” overshadows the need for support.

By silencing men, society not only denies their pain but deepens it. Every time a survivor is told “men can’t be raped,” another door to recovery slams shut.

Towards Healing and Recognition

Healing begins with acknowledgment. Male survivors need to hear that their experiences are valid, that their pain is real, and that speaking up does not diminish their masculinity. In fact, breaking the silence requires tremendous strength.

Support systems and services must recognize men as survivors too. As Wexler and Eglinton (2015) argue in the context of youth well-being, social support and recognition are vital in shaping recovery. This applies equally to male survivors of sexual assault—community responses must affirm their dignity, not undermine it.

Conclusion

The rape and sexual assault of men remain shrouded in stigma, but the silence is beginning to crack. Every voice that speaks out chips away at the myths that imprison survivors. Men, too, deserve recognition, care, and justice. Masculinity does not shield them from harm, and it should never be used as a barrier to healing.

References

• Easton, S. D., Saltzman, L. Y., & Willis, D. G. (2014). "Would you tell under circumstances like that?" Barriers to disclosure of child sexual abuse for men. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 15(4), 460–469.

• Javaid, A. (2015). Male Rape: The “Invisible” Male. Journal of Gender Studies, 24(2), 169–180.

• Mezey, G., & King, M. (2000). Male victims of sexual assault. BMJ, 320(7247), 1234–1235.

• Smith, S. G., et al. (2018). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2015 Data Brief – Updated Release. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

• Wexler, L., & Eglinton, K. A. (2015). Reconsidering Youth Well-Being as Fluid and Relational: A Dynamic Process at the Intersection of Physical and Social Geographies. Journal of Youth Studies, 18(10), 1236–1254.