24 HOUR CRISIS LINE: 083 484 9409  
Tel: 021 852 5620 • Fax: 086 519 4358   
Email: help@crisiscentre.org.za  
Helderberg Hospital • Lourensford Road • Somerset West  
Western Cape • South Africa • 7129  
Rape Survivors
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THE EMERGENCY STAGE
 
Please note:  Rape Crisis Helderberg does not get anything out of recommending The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis (CLICK HERE) - we simply recommend the book because it is exceptional and has helped many, many people as they heal, both at our centre and all over the world. The stages used on this web site and the light blue block below are used with permission from the authors of the book THE COURAGE TO HEAL by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis (20th Anniversary Edition).
 

The Emergency Stage. Beginning to deal with memories and long-suppressed feelings can throw your life into turmoil. This is a time when emotional pain is intense, the old coping mechanisms are no longer intact, and it may be difficult to function at your usual level. Remember, this stage won't last forever.
 

Surviving the emergency stage can feel like the worst time ever.

Here are some suggestions:

  • Thinking about suicide - read THIS first.
  • Know that you are not going crazy. What you are going through is a recognized part of the healing process.
  • Sit tight and ride out the storm. Your decision making capability is limited right now. The emergency stage is usually not a good time for making major life changes.
  • This isn't the time to take on difficult challenges, extra work, or more responsibility. Drop what isn't essential. Keep up with pleasurable activities that nourish you, are safe and that you enjoy.
  • Watch your intake of drugs and alcohol. Repeatedly numbing your feelings will only prolong the crisis.
  • Get out of abusive situations. If you are currently in an abusive relationship, take steps to get out of it.
  • Join the GROUP for adult survivors of child sexual abuse.
  • Start seeing Reinette or Ruth.
  • Join an online discussion group as well.
  • Read Faith Allen's post: Positive Coping Tools for Healing from Childhood Abuse.
  • Call a crisisline and talk to someone: Reinette 083 484 9409, Suicide Line 0800 567 567, Life Line 0861 322 322.
  • Breathe
  • Make a list of 101 reasons to stay alive...it may take a while to find the reasons, but if you only put down real reasons to heal, then even if you only get 2...that is 2 real reasons. Keep working on the list.
  • Relax and read these little stories.
  • Laugh a little
  • Get creative. Painting, sculpting or other creative pursuits can be ways of working through and expressing emotions and of gaining insight and self-awareness.
  • Seeking the support of caring friends or family members
  • Writing in a journal (this can be a great outlet for emotions and can increase self-awareness and understanding). Let everything come out on a piece of paper (even if you burn the paper afterwards - get it out of YOU).
  • Give yourself permission to do nothing- there may be times when the healthiest thing you can do is nothing- put the healing on hold and lay low. Time outs can be just as legitimate as active steps.
  • Developing and following a regular spiritual practice (reading, meditation, daily prayer, etc.)
  • In times of emotional crisis or upset, ask for help. Friends, family, Reinette 083 484 9409, Suicide Line 0800 567 567, Life Line 0861 322 322.
  • Stroke a pet.
  • Listen to soothing music.
  • Breathe
  • Do something that calms you - take a hot bath, cook, clean, draw, shop, whatever it is that calms you.
  • Do physical excercise - run around the block, go to gym, weed the garden.
  • Keep a list of support numbers and keep the numbers with you: Friends, family,Reinette 083 484 9409, Suicide Line 0800 567 567, Life Line 0861 322 322.
  • Watch a movie.
  • Make your own list, especially for you - call it: THINGS TO DO WHEN I'M DESPERATE.

There is healing – you reach out and claim it.
 

About The Stages On The Healing Journey


Healing is not a tidy, step-by-step process. There are many paths to healing; any action that leads you toward greater health, expanded self-awareness, and increased self-respect is beneficial in beginning or in sustaining the healing process. There are many ways to heal from sexual violence. There is no right way. Although there are particular aspects that have been identified from the experiences of many survivors, the stages of healing my not always occur in the same way or in the same order for each survivor. A person will spend varying amounts of time in any one stage (long or short). Some stages may be skipped altogether; many people recycle back and forth in random and varied order through them.


The stages used on this web site are from the book COURAGE TO HEAL, there are thirteen altogether. 

Although most of these stages are necessary for everyone, some - the emergency stage, remembering, disclosing the abuse to your family, and forgiveness - are not applicable to everyone.

To see all the stages in the healing process CLICK HERE. 

 

(The counsellors at Rape Crisis totally understand how this journey can be triggering and take you step-by-step through the process, also encouraging you to join a support GROUP. Many survivors find it difficult to see a counsellor or join the support group and do so only AS they can handle it, others start using these resources as quickly as they can. The best way is to discuss this with a counsellor. We do however recommend that you have support during the time that you face and think about these issues. You have dealt with this alone for so many years and you cannot heal on your own. Please also consider buying the book entitled The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis (CLICK HERE) which deals with this extensively to help you through this time. Counsellor options are available to you. 

In the book The Courage To Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, they have a chapter entitled, "Survival skills for healing," and they write, "Healing is demanding work. It disrupts your old ways of coping; brings up deep pain, fear, and grief; and requires that you make profound changes in your life. When you are in the throes of healing from child sexual abuse, it is especially important to be kind to yourself. Yet a common side effect of child sexual abuse is insensitivity to our own needs and a lack of awareness about self-care, so one of the first challenges we face in the healing process is the need to develop a new survival skill: how to nurture ourselves." We agree whole-heartedly. You need to be gentle with YOU.
 
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After being raped, even if you do not open a case please:

  • Get evidence collected within 24 hours and no later than 72 hours (the police will take you to the rape crisis centre or hospital)
  • Get anti-retrovirals & emergency contraception within 72 hours (anti-retrovirals are free to rape victims at government hospitals)
  • Get antibiotic medication to prevent other sexually transmitted infections
  • Get counselling from a person trained in rape trauma counselling - it is never too late

You can get all of the above free at our office at Helderberg Hospital, Somerset West

Call 083 484 9409 (24 hours a day) or 021-852 5620 (office hours) or write to help@crisiscentre.org.za.

You do not have to go through this alone.

RAPE TRAUMA SYNDROME is a recognised response to rape and sexual abuse and it includes a variety of problems including various long-term consequences, the symptoms are similar to Post Traumatic Stress. Although many rape survivors suffer from the symptoms of Rape Trauma Syndrome, not all survivors respond to rape in the same way. It is important to treat each rape survivor as an individual and to try and understand what the rape means to that particular person. Coping with being raped may also be more difficult if family, friends and colleagues are not supportive and/or blame the survivor. After the shock has passed, some survivors try to act as if nothing has happened. This is their way of trying to block out the rape, because they feel that they won't be able to cope if they let themselves remember what happened to them. However, if a rape survivor is going to recover well from the impact of a rape, s/he must let her/himself remember the rape and feel whatever s/he is feeling inside. When s/he does start remembering and feeling, s/he will also start suffering from symptoms, but these usually improve gradually over time. It often helps a survivor to have counselling if s/he is experiencing symptoms that upset her/him. The effects of rape are long term. Rape survivors never forget being raped, but many learn how to deal with the memory. Studies have shown that the symptoms suffered by a rape survivor three months after a rape usually continue over the next three to four years, although they do seem to improve over time. Sadly South Africa holds the for the highest rapes world-wide. Interpol estimates that over 1 million women are raped each year in South Africa.
We want to help you to "PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER AGAIN".